Monday, January 19, 2015

Sex, Lies and a Real Problem

First let me begin by apologizing for all the Twitter references to all of you still living in 2009. I kid. I kid. Now to the matter at hand.

To some what I'm about to write might sound absurd. Ludicrous even. But it's true. Paraphrased with Names changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

There is a woman who rose to what is becoming known as "Twitter Famous". Like that is a thing... anyway.. I digress. This woman became "Twitter Famous" on the back of silly, sexy selfies. Those "selfies" went viral and boom she's got like 50,000 followers. It happens.

Apparently she got caught up in all the attention and "back slid" into an affair.

You may be thinking, Why do I care? How do you know this? And more importantly "Why Do You Know This?"

And You are right to be asking those questions.

Long story short a self-imposed "Tabloid Journalist" of the "Right" (or so he claims) basically pressured her into writing it all out in very, very long form on FB for the whole world to see, so that she could get ahead of this "Breaking" "News" "Story".   He let the woman know if She didn't "come clean" he would publish a hit piece on her.

You read that correctly.

So many things wrong with this story from start to finish that's almost impossible to know where to begin... You know I can get long winded so I will try and keep this short and to the point.

1. Don't make people You don't know personally Your Role Model.
2. Everyone is Human.
3. Being "Twitter Famous" is a thing.
4. "Judge not, lest ye be judged"
5. Something about casting the first stone in here too, somewhere.
6. People misrepresent their life on Social Media every day, See Facebook.
7. I'm glad I'm protestant more each day.
8. Not all Christians are dreadfully judgmental, but some who claim to be are.
9. Gossip is a Sin too...
10. I could go on for days.

While I can honestly say I'm not a fan of internet phonies and frauds, by that I'm not talking about the people like this chick. Who is maybe in her 30s? She's cute and she seems to be for the most part exactly who she has claimed to be a conservative wife and mother, she loves her husband who happens to be a veteran.

If you said "How can You say 'she loves her husband'?" You are part of the problem.

Relationships are complicated. Marriages are complicated. Military Marriages are beyond complicated.

In one sense You're correct to judge me, in that No, I don't truly know if this woman loves her husband, but I have no reason to believe that She doesn't.

Affairs happen (like all the time.) They even make movies about it. It rarely means the people involved don't love each other.  It's usually significantly more complex than that.

That said, the real problem here is that someone thought it was acceptable to 'research' this story.  It's not. There's no excuse or rationale that makes this a "newsworthy" piece. But there are some in the world so evil as to pretend to do "Good" while trying to ruin someone's family.

This hit home for me, as for those of You who know what happened with my parents... The community around them fueled the flames, sharing gossip with each other and ultimately my Dad.  The public humiliation was too much for him...

  • What if Ms. Sexy Selfie was married to an abusive asshole or just a guy with a "wicked temper"? 
  • What if Mr. I'm Loyal To No One publishes his piece and Mr. Sexy Selfie kills Mrs. Sexy Selfie? 
  • What does Mr. Self Righteous Asshole write then? That he's sorry? Trust me... it won't help. 

Thankfully, TF Chick's husband is supporting her in this unexpected attack and it sounds like they are working it out which is great. I wish them all the best.

To those of you still judging Ms. Sexie Selfie, just stop.  To normal people you sound like a self righteous ass,  to quote Salt N Pepa,  "There's only one true judge and that's God, so chill and let my Father do his Job".

Now on to the bigger picture, Mr. "Reporter" will be held up by the Left as the loony toon he is and shown as an "example of how Puritanical Republicans are". How "out of touch". And they'd be right.  About him and anyone who supports him on this issue.  That's a problem for a Party trying to reach out to New voters. No one wants to hang out with a bunch of prudes, who expect perfection from humans.  It's not possible. We all have our sins, our vices...there was only one Perfect human and he died a long time ago on a cross. Get it?

If you're still not sure why You should care.... Remember You or someone you care about could become The Next Target.    

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Walking Through Those Doors

It's been over six months since I sat down to write a proper blog.  It's not that nothing has happened. Quite the opposite.  Everything has changed.

Okay. Maybe not "everything" but y'all know how much I love hyperbole. In July I had a major surgery, removing 6 organs and countless tumors, including one the size of a softball I'm told.  But the healing that was required after that surgery that I had been avoiding for nearly 20 years..... it allowed me to begin to heal in other ways as well.

I have struggled with my weight since a well meaning attempt to medicate away my "issues" way back then... the Doctor (Miracle Worker) who performed my surgery was also able to properly diagnose some "side effects" of my PCOS and treat those as well. Long story short, Sugar is not my friend.  My body doesn't process it like a normal person, nor like a diabetic, it's just different and basically poison to my system.

One aspect of being self conscientious about weight is the desire to find "just the right" exercise that will *really* work for you. Over the years, that exercise has become Pilates....not that you could tell.

However now that the sugar has been forcefully removed from my hand...the Pilates is *really* working. I feel healthier than I have in least a decade... That is hard to even type, as I'm still working on my fear of the "H" word (rhymes with "Pappy)

As part of that healing time, I had  no choice but to focus on me and my "issues" as it were/is...

Another fabulous event to come out of the last time I blogged is my new Podcast with Jim Geraghty. Yes.  That Jim Geraghty!  I'm very lucky that he chose to take a chance on a virtual unknown to work with him on this Pop Culture and Current Events show.  Which he often calls the "shortest hour of our week"... You can listen to latest one here for free on Soundcloud, they even have free apps for iPhone & droid users on the page too.

I don't know what else is a head for me or for the show. I do however know that right now we're looking at some pretty amazing opportunities, as scary as that is to write.

However...... As long as God keeps opening doors. I will keep walking through them.

Friday, June 13, 2014

My 15 Seconds Of Home Town Fame

Earlier this week, Salena Zito of the Pittsburgh Tribune Review,  interviewed me about the dramatic unseating of Eric Cantor in my district here in Virginia.  She decided to use parts of that interview in her column this week.  This was a fun moment for me for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is that I consider myself a dual citizen of Virginia and Pennsylvania.

It's a small world, after all....

Salena is also one of my favorite political reporters, she covers local and national politics with a voice that is seldom heard in the parroting world of media. We could use more like her.

Here's the Article:

Anti-Beltway sentiments cost Cantor job, analysts and voters say

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The Process of Grief : More than 140

When someone you love dies it's a natural reaction to want to blame someone, some thing, any thing. I've lost many people I love over the course of my life some through drunk driving accidents, some through natural causes, some after long illnesses, I lost my own parents to a Murder-Suicide.

The one thing that each of these has in common? The pain is the same. You've lost someone who was a part of your life and they are never coming back. (Not in this life anyway) So it doesn't matter what caused the death, the pain remains the same and while many people speak of closure in my experience that is more of an expression than it is reality.

When we're in pain we lash out, we seek answers to questions that no one should ever have to ask, then when the raw scorching pain subsides to a constant dull hits you this is how it will always be.

Some people take issue with God after losing someone they loved in what they perceived was an unjust or unfair fact I've met many atheists who lost their faith this way.  Believing that if there was a God, surely they would not have allowed this tragedy to happen to them.  Not for nothing this is in my opinion a selfish way to look at the world, but I digress. The feeling of course is that if God existed he would prevented the loss, thus they turn their back to him.

People blame inanimate objects Rich Foods, Cigars, Booze, Cars, Knives and Guns for their undeniably painful loss. Heart attacks, Strokes, Cancer, Accidents, Shootings they all are the result of human behavior.   None of these things by themselves cause anyone to die. People and circumstances cause Death, like little else.

Why all the blame throwing? Because when someone You love dies it feels Unfair and Unjust. All you want to do is find a way to fix it. Or know "Why" it happened.

Convinced that peace and that ever elusive Closure is just around the corner, you seek answers. Sometimes you even get them. You pour through all the information available about the who, the why, how it could have been prevented.  Some spend days, week, months even years of their lives reaching for these answers. When you come to the end of that journey, what ever that end may be only one thing remains:  Your loved one is gone.

Grief is a powerful thing. It can be all consuming if you indulge yourself in it. We all know the person who has never been the same since, (Insert tragic thing here). Loss does change you, the question is how does it change you?

I have chosen to Live my life with a capital "L" as my tiny way of honoring the memory of those who shaped so much of my world,  but are no longer alive to share it with me. I've found my faith to be a comfort and a guide on days when all I really wanted to do was give up.

Will you give in to the pull of victim hood or will you move forward the very best that you can as a Survivor?

Each person has to make that decision for themselves, every day, every hour, some times it feels like every second.  But it is your choice to make.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

My Very First Book Review: Finding Mr. Righteous

I like most of the Conservatives online have been waiting for "Finding Mr. Righteous" by my friend and complicated Conservative girl, Lisa De Pasquale. After reading it and a few of the online reviews I felt compelled to throw my two cents into the conversation. So here is my first book review.  In full disclosure, I do consider Lisa a friend and she has baked for me, so true to my nature this review may be slightly "Biased".

I had talked to Lisa prior to the book coming out and asked what the early reviewers were saying.  She said it was mostly positive feedback but that some seemed shocked by her honesty.  I bet they were. Ann Coulter called it a Christian story disguised as "Racy Chick Lit", well that's part of it. I just thought there was also another message within the pages.  

"Finding Mr. Righteous" gives the world a glimpse into the life of a single girl in the dreadful world of Washington, DC. I found the author's brutal  honesty the book's most charming feature. While other reviews seemed focused on the Religious aspect of the book, forgive me if I think that pigeon holes it just a bit.

Lisa pours her heart onto those pages, her vulnerable, generous, self-conscious heart and it is a beautiful yet bitter sweet tale to which all women, especially those who have searched for "Mr. Right", can relate.  The constant self judgement that everyone feels. The insecurities that keep us from becoming as Oprah would say our "Best Selves".  Lisa shines a bold spotlight on her own insecurities and the lengths she has gone to please others, specifically the men in her life.  We follow her journey of self awareness and acceptance in a world that doesn't always make it easy.

Sharing her most intimate fears and thoughts with the reader, Lisa paints a realistic portrait of the relationship obstacles we all face. All the while weaving a juicy "Inside The Beltway" tell all. Between DC events, happy hours and cocktail parties, She is faced with situations that women face every day. Sometimes She chooses correctly, other times not so much. But throughout you find yourself rooting for Lisa as she stares down the never ending expectations for Love, Career, Faith and Self Acceptable.

Tongues may be wagging in DC this week, as "Insiders" try to identify the men portrayed in each chapter. Who is the Quaker? The Pastor? The Atheist?  For me, "Finding Mr. Righteous" was a journey of learning to value your own worth. Each story a reflection of the writer in the eyes from which she sees the world. This self discovery is heart felt and entertaining in a real voice that I'm certain did in fact shock some of the *Conservatives* who read it. As friend mentioned..."It's not for the faint of heart".

If you haven't yet. I highly recommend a copy for You and any of your single girl friends. Trust me it's worth every Penny!!

***It is my understanding guys like it too, but somehow I doubt they understand all of it!

Lisa will be signing books at CPAC on Friday afternoon at 2pm. 

Follow Lisa on Twitter at @LisaDeP

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

In Defense of Miley Cyrus...

It's been quite awhile since I last blogged here, it's been a crazy couple of months. But today I was inspired to write a blog. No it wasn't the 50th Anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream Speech" and the ensuing events in DC. Nor is it about very real possibility that Obama is going to lead us into War in Syria. It's about Miley Cyrus.

Now I know at this point many of you have probably heard enough about Ms. Cyrus in the last few days to last you a life time. Both the left and right agree:  Miley Cyrus's VMA performance was horrifying. Could peace in the middle east be next?

Here's the thing, Miley Cyrus is a marketing machine. She's made millions upon millions of dollars through her persona of "Hanna Montana". A young perfectly poised pop star that in many ways reflected what fans thought of Miley Cyrus. In fact I'd be willing to bet many saw them as one in the same, She (they?) did do a "tour" after all.

But what Miley Cyrus reminded all of us on Sunday night was that She is not "Hannah Montana". Nor is she a Tween pop star anymore.  She's a grown woman. And whether we like it or not She has changed.  From a purely business standpoint it was simply something that had to be done.

What's truly amazing is that Miley has been able to keep this song and her name in the press for months.  First there was the insane haircut. Then she dropped the single "We Can't Stop" in which there is "controversial" line, "Dancing with Miley". Or so Cyrus claimed, for about a month until she decided to admit what was fairly clear from the start, the real line was "Dancing with Molly". A reference to a fairly popular, yet still illegal drug, Ecstasy.

"We Can't Stop" plays like a theme song for her generation, with lines like "It's my mouth I can say what I want to" and "Forget the Haters cause somebody loves you".   Probably not what you took away after the other night, but still She is now in her early twenties. She isn't 16 anymore. It's about partying, rebelling and new found freedom. Basically the same theme as every other rock or pop song ever written, only with a softer beat.

Still critics came out screeching like Tipper Gore at a rap concert to condemn Miley for "glorification of drug use.".  You know because hit songs are never about Drug use.....Need I remind you of  a little tune called "Cocaine", or maybe you remember "Last Dance with Mary Jane", how about "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds". No drug references there. Not everyone was as overt as to include it in the song titles but let's face it half the songs from the 90's were about Heroin.  Drugs have been a part of popular music since it was invented.

But because Miley Cyrus, a/k/a Hannah Montana sang was literally national news.

I don't claim to know if Miley is using drugs or living a drug fueled party life style or not. What I do know is that videos don't always represent "real life". Often singers are playing a character, just like an actor in a movie. So I don't think it's fair to assume that simply because it's in a video, it's a documentary of her life.

And while "Twerk" was a word used by someone prior to Miley Cyrus, I don't think it had ever appeared in cereal before her video and never on CNN before Sunday night's performance. It's even been added to the Urban Dictionary. So there's that.

Now as for the actual performance on Sunday night at the VMAs.  I was not a fan of it. In full disclosure I had heard the song before and I actually kind of like it. I had not however seen the video, until after the VMAs.  Which if MTV actually played videos anymore, would have probably given the general public more warning.   Miley gyrates around licking things and people and yes even Teddy Bears in the video. So again if MTV played videos perhaps more people would have already known about

To me the whole things was just strange and awkward. Mock worthy no doubt. But at no time in the performance nor in the video does Miley show her "naughty bits". She's entirely covered. Sure the outfits are far from modest, but it's not like she had on pasties or a thong. She basically had on a horrendously ugly swim suit. It didn't come across as sexual to me, it was just really freaking strange.

To the parents who were quick to post to facebook and twitter  that the performance was "embarrassing" or "uncomfortable"  because their children were watching...That is totally on you. The VMAs are known for controversial performances.

Almost 30 years ago, Madonna gave the now infamous performance of "Like a Virgin". It was ten years ago, this week that Britney kissed Madonna on that very same show. You should know better. If you don't want your kids to see the latest version of "Controversial", don't let them watch the VMAs. Seriously. Like Justin Timberlake said "It's not the Grammys".

Now I get that people expect standards of decency, I'm just not sure why You think you'd find it on MTV, home of "Teen Moms".

Whatever you think about Miley's now infamous performance, there were more tweets per minute during her portion of the show than there were during the Super Bowl. People who hadn't thought of Miley Cyrus in years, suddenly have her name on their lips. She is back in business. And as a capitalist I can't hate on her for any of it.

Maybe it was too much...but I don't think we'll be confusing Miley Cyrus with "Hannah Montana" again anytime soon.